Coping Strategies by Enneagram Type
What is your go-to coping strategy when you are dealing with all that life throws at you?
Today we are exploring the unconscious coping strategy of each of the Enneagram types. The Enneagram teaches that you adopt a specific pattern of behavior that is in response to a core belief and fear. These actions are always taken to avoid a feeling you don’t want to have or to pursue a feeling you are craving. And most of the time this happens outside of your conscious awareness.
Are there things you are unconsciously avoiding that might be the ticket to getting what you want? Are there things you are naturally drawn to that might limit the other choices available to you?
Bringing awareness to the strategy of your type may help you better see your patterns and open up some new options for you. This is especially important as an entrepreneur because you need to stay agile and aware of your blind spots.
Enneagram 8
Strategy: Imposing my will
I see myself as strong, direct, in control, and decisive.
👎 Avoid
Weakness
Uncertainty
Being dependent
Losing the good opinion of people I respect
Ending up totally vulnerable and powerless
👍 Pursue
Control and dominance of my space
Taking action and facing conflict
Protecting the weak and innocent
Gaining respect by being strong and just
Enneagram 9
Strategy: Maintaining harmony
I see myself as peaceful, easy-going, and low maintenance.
👎 Avoid
Conflict
Confrontation
Feeling uncomfortable
Too many competing demands on my attention and energy
👍 Pursue
Being sensitive to others
Trying to please
Keeping life comfortable and familiar
Making life predictable
Containing anger
Enneagram 1
Strategy: Being on a mission
I see myself as reasonable, objective, and responsible.
👎 Avoid
Making mistakes
Losing self-control
Violating social norms
Being criticized
👍 Pursue
Getting things right
Issues about integrity
Maintaining standards
Being responsible and self-reliant
Suppressing personal needs and natural desires
Enneagram 2
Strategy: Attention on others
I see myself as loving, caring, and selfless.
👎 Avoid
Disappointing others
Being seen as selfish
Feeling unappreciated
Being useless and dispensable
Rejection
👍 Pursue
Sensing the needs of others and pleasing them
Feeling good about being able to meet needs
Maintaining acceptance
Romantic attachment
Enneagram 3
Strategy: Adapt and produce
I see myself as accomplished, goal-oriented, and having unlimited potential.
👎 Avoid
Failing to achieve my goals
Being overshadowed by others
Experiencing uncomfortable feelings
👍 Pursue
Getting things done quickly and efficiently
Staying active and busy
Achieving recognition
Adjusting to what is required for success
Enneagram 4
Strategy: Emotional intensity
I see myself as unique, intuitive, and sensitive.
👎 Avoid
Being rejected or abandoned
The ordinary or mundane
Feeling there is something wrong with me
Insignificance
👍 Pursue
Intense feelings about what is missing
Finding love, meaning, and fulfillment through self-expression and deep connection
Endeavoring to be unique
Enneagram 5
Strategy: Mental intensity
I see myself as smart, perceptive, and observant.
👎 Avoid
Strong feelings
Intrusive or demanding circumstances
Feelings of inadequacy and emptiness
👍 Pursue
Retracting in order to observe
Mastering a subject
Thinking and analyzing in advance
Dampening feelings
Conserving energy
Maintaining sufficient privacy and limits
Enneagram 6
Strategy: Searching for trust
I see myself as responsible, reliable, and vigilant.
👎 Avoid
Being helpless or not in control in the face of danger
Getting stuck in doubt and contrary thinking
Alienating people I depend on
👍 Pursue
Doubting, testing, and looking for double messages
Figuring things out through logical analysis
Showing strength
Gaining security by obtaining the goodwill of others
Enneagram 7
Strategy: Don't miss out!
I see myself as free, fun-loving, and spontaneous.
👎 Avoid
Frustrations
Constraints and limitations
Painful feelings
Boredom
Feeling trapped in suffering and pain
👍 Pursue
Enjoying and experiencing life to its fullest
Keeping options open and life upbeat
Using my imagination
Being liked by being charming and disarming
Note: If you want to learn more about what this looks like for your type, check out Roxanne Howe-Murphy’s book “Deep Living: Transforming Your Relationship to Everything That Matters Through the Enneagram”
For more information on the Enneagram system, check out my Enneagram 101 page here.
